![]() Generally speaking, they lack access to opportunity - and to a familial culture and community that stresses education and achievement. And most people who work as janitors do so because it’s the best option they’ve got. Most Harvard students are at that school not because they have big brains, but because they have immense drive. Think about a film like "Good Will Hunting." People love that movie because it perpetuates the notion that lurking within the great unwashed masses are folks like Matt Damon: genius janitors just waiting for the chance to expose all those Harvard kids as the superficial snobs they are. ![]() ![]() Hollywood tends to steer clear of any script that deals too bluntly with issues of intelligence and class. What you have here is a genuine existential dilemma, and one that rarely gets talked about in our culture. (Full disclosure: I feel shallow and conflicted 90 percent of my waking life). The fact that you feel shallow and conflicted doesn’t make you a jerk. Okay, first things first: take a deep breath. Is it possible to have a fulfilling life with someone when you do feel an economic and intellectual divide? How important is it to overcome that divide? I really love him, and am happy with him. He’s not ambitious, and is happy to spend the rest of his life in the same job I want to make my mark in the world. His family is blue-collar, mine is affluent and educated. But deep in my heart, I don't see myself marrying him and know our relationship has an expiration date. He’s nice, caring, and everything a person would want. I’ve fallen in love with a guy who is perfect, except that he is not my intellectual equal.
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